How To ‘Do It All’ (But Not at the Same Time)
I don’t know if this is exclusive to women, but in our day and age, I get the impression that we all tend to feel like we’re supposed to do everything, do it well, and do it fairly easily. But as I’ve gotten older, and taken on more responsibility each year (a job with ever-increasing responsibility, a husband, house, kids, new friendships), I’ve really taken this popular saying to heart:
“You can have/do it all, but not at the same time.”
Sometimes it feels like we barely make it through the day, and get very little accomplished (which I know is a common feeling for men and women who stay home with their kids!), and as someone who has a toddler and another baby on the way, this feeling is even more present.
However, due to the typical exhaustion that accompanies pregnancy, I’ve finally settled into a new normal (for now) of requiring less of myself and being satisfied with it.
So currently, here’s how I’m ‘doing it all’ but in stride- and if you’re feeling overwhelmed, maybe this can help you, too. Here’s my secret to feeling like I’m still succeeding in all aspects of life (while really taking things one day at a time):
- Figure out when you tend to be most productive during the day, and be okay with that. I used to wake up at 7 am, and then work on my laptop at Panera from 9 am to late evening a few days a week. These days, if I’m being honest, anything before 11 am feels impossible. So I learned to let that become my new normal, and these days I just relax and spend quality time with my toddler before noon instead. As someone who likes to be productive, it doesn’t feel like the perfect scenario, but it works for now.
- Go outside every single day, even if it’s just for a 30-minute walk. It boosts your mood, reduces stress, and makes you feel like you really did something with your day.
- Don’t put pressure on yourself to be the perfect wife, mom, friend, teacher, or employee 24/7. These days my goal is to be my best at each of those things just one day a week. I’ve found that if I feel like a tired and uninvolved mom most days, but make it a point to go out of my way to take my little one on an adventure every Thursday (and then have family weekends with her, too), I feel like a great mom. And when it comes to teaching, some days I feel like it’s hard to get into full work mode when teaching online from home. However, for the last few months, I taught a face-to-face class on Wednesday nights, those students had my undivided attention, and I was really able to dive in and be the best teacher I could be.
- Don’t try to tackle everything on your to-do list every day. Erase everything that isn’t necessary (or make a long list of things that you’d like to do in the next few months or so, but aren’t necessarily urgent, and hide it away somewhere for a much later date!). Instead of trying to tackle a laundry list of small tasks and/or large projects, pick 3 things to do each day, and just focus on those. Try to forget about the rest. If you finish those 3 things you had set out to do for the day, consider your to-do list for the day completed.
If you’re in a phase of life where you feel like there’s no time, or there’s too much going on day to day (like working at home with children around!), or you just feel like you’re overloaded and need to find a new way to ‘do it all,’ I hope the above tips help.
It’s just one season of life- sometimes you’ll be able to do more, and sometimes you’ll find yourself doing less, but you can absolutely do it all- just take it one day at a time.
Happy living and learning!